moms speak

Forever Changed

(Names changed to provide anonymity)

by Jessica Phillipi

For the rest of my life, September 23, 2011 will be the most monumental day of my life. It’s a day where I was most fearful, but also the day I saw God’s mercy, grace, provision, protection, love, and blessing show up in ways that cannot be measured or contained. It all started at 4:26 am.

I was in the middle of an extremely vivid dream (something about a Ferris wheel ride, from what I can recall) when – POP! I heard an audible “pop” and a TON of water running off the side of the bed! I scrambled to my feet and said, “What in the world is that?” I ran to the bathroom, still gushing water. As the floor beneath me began to collect a pool of this clear liquid, I got very scared. I wasn’t sure what to do or think. I raced to my mom’s room and woke her up. Visibly shaking, I told her what happened. She asked me if I was in pain and I told her that I wasn’t. She told me to try to go back to sleep and go see the doctor after I got the kids to school because if I wasn’t in pain, the ER wouldn’t make me a priority anyway. So, I cleaned up the water and lay back in bed. I had a slight pain (like a menstrual cramp) as I fell back asleep but by the time I woke up, it was gone. So, I got the kids off to school and decided to head to the ER. I arrived there at about 8:15 am

On the way, I had called a friend to tell her what had happened and she met me at the ER. After going through triage, they showed me to a room. I explained what happened to the nurse and the doctor. Of course, they asked all kinds of questions and I answered them as best I could. The doctor wanted to do a pelvic exam to see where the water was coming from. Fast forwarding through that, he said the water was leaking from my cervix but that my cervix was completely closed. He said because of that and the fact that my last menstrual period was September 1st, I was obviously not in labor, but he could not determine what exactly was happening. He said he would return after they tested the fluid samples. About 20 minutes later, he informed me that the fluid was amniotic fluid. At this point, I was completely confused! The doctor explained that it could be what is called a “molar” pregnancy or a pregnancy that had ended but not detached from my body. He said ultrasound was on their way to take me back to look.

We get to ultrasound. The technician begins her exam. I look at the screen and cannot believe what I am seeing! It is a baby – with a beating heart! I am speechless! How did I not know? I have 3 children so pregnancy is nothing new to me! Then fear returned and I began to weep. This baby has had no prenatal care. All of my pregnancies are high risk due to hypertension and my weight. The tech assured me the baby was ok. She could not determine the sex of the child because all the fluid around the baby was now gone. They baby measured to be around 35 weeks. She made a call to get me transported to another hospital to deliver. As my friend and I sat there and cried together I had to come to the realization (very quickly) that I was going to have a baby – that day. I had NOTHING for this new baby and how, in the world, would I tell the father who I hadn’t spoken to in some time?!?! So, I was whisked into an ambulance and on my way to deliver.

About 5 minutes prior to arriving at the hospital, I started to have contractions, and they continued as I was prepared for a C-section. All my other births were by C-section and, since my cervix was closed anyway, that was the only safe option. I started to feel God’s protection and love for me pour out in several ways before going in to surgery. First, my friend who was with me from the beginning never left my side. Then a couple more friends came to show their love and support during this very scary and confusing time. After that, the children’s pastor at our church and my “mama” came to pray and show support. I was scared, but I knew that God knew what He was doing and my job was to prepare for this road as best I knew how. I asked Him to take over, to put me at ease, and to protect me and this child that was coming – very quickly.

I laid for what seems like hours on that operation table, listening to the doctors talk their way through the surgery. Then, at 4:11 pm, a very audible, healthy cry filled the room. As the tears streamed down my face, my friend informed me that it was a baby girl. I waited (as patiently as I could) to see her as the doctors gave her the once over. They brought her to my face, all bundled up. She couldn’t be more beautiful! So I said hello to her, gave her a kiss, and then they took her to the nursery and off I went to recovery.

These, of course, are just the main details of the story. So much more has happened but I’m not typing all that up! LOL! This whole experience has shown me, in a new way, how big my God is. It has shown me that He loves me – even though I don’t deserve it. It has shown me what an awesome Protector He is. My daughter is healthy and only God gets the glory for that! I cannot express how blessed me and my kids are! The people that He has placed around us, the church that He has planted us at, and the love that we share for each other is amazing to me. I cannot thank all of you enough! I can’t wait for everyone to meet her.

So, please welcome Anna Maria into this world – my little, unexpected miracle.

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